Irônico, não é? A gente fica frio por fora, quando transbordam sentimentos por dentro.
Sabedorias.  (via epdemic)
theintpway:

thelithiumcat:

theintpway:

If you try, you are on your own 

Seems to be this way. Very few people I know - if any - want to come into my world with me and can understand it. They might know more than me, but how I think will make no sense to them. It makes me quite sad, actually. Makes it much harder to connect with people because they tend to go ‘*pats* aww, Lithium, it must be crazy in your mind’, or something to that effect. They accept it as a quirk of me instead of understanding it. I do sometimes wish I could share it with someone occasionally.
I can’t remember exactly what happened, but, as an example, I explained my understanding of something to my Chemistry tutor and she said she could see how it might work in my mind or with my logic. Something like that. I don’t know. I can’t remember what it was about. I don’t think it was this, but it might have been something similar to how I remember what endothermic and exothermic mean. The ‘end’ in ‘endothermic’ means that’s where the energy ends, so to speak. It’s gone from somewhere to there. The thing takes in energy in the reaction. With ‘exothermic’ it’s ‘ex’iting the thing, so energy’s transferred to the surroundings. To think about the plus and minus delta Hs you get, I think about energy going into or out of the thing. Total energy in the thing. Does this make sense? I get the feeling that when I work things out this way it seems kinda warped to other people. My mind can be kinda spacial. I like moving things around in it. It’s easier to take one block of stuff and move it somewhere than remember the calculation.

As a software engineer I can tell you how does it feel to be not understood by the others. When I design a database, for example, and after optimizing it, the design can be quite complex and some people just cannot understand why it was designed that way, so they say it’s wrong because they cannot understand it, it gets quite frustrating when you try to explain your thoughts to others and all the logic behind it. 

theintpway:

thelithiumcat:

theintpway:

If you try, you are on your own 

Seems to be this way. Very few people I know - if any - want to come into my world with me and can understand it. They might know more than me, but how I think will make no sense to them. It makes me quite sad, actually. Makes it much harder to connect with people because they tend to go ‘*pats* aww, Lithium, it must be crazy in your mind’, or something to that effect. They accept it as a quirk of me instead of understanding it. I do sometimes wish I could share it with someone occasionally.

I can’t remember exactly what happened, but, as an example, I explained my understanding of something to my Chemistry tutor and she said she could see how it might work in my mind or with my logic. Something like that. I don’t know. I can’t remember what it was about. I don’t think it was this, but it might have been something similar to how I remember what endothermic and exothermic mean. The ‘end’ in ‘endothermic’ means that’s where the energy ends, so to speak. It’s gone from somewhere to there. The thing takes in energy in the reaction. With ‘exothermic’ it’s ‘ex’iting the thing, so energy’s transferred to the surroundings. To think about the plus and minus delta Hs you get, I think about energy going into or out of the thing. Total energy in the thing. Does this make sense? I get the feeling that when I work things out this way it seems kinda warped to other people. My mind can be kinda spacial. I like moving things around in it. It’s easier to take one block of stuff and move it somewhere than remember the calculation.

As a software engineer I can tell you how does it feel to be not understood by the others. When I design a database, for example, and after optimizing it, the design can be quite complex and some people just cannot understand why it was designed that way, so they say it’s wrong because they cannot understand it, it gets quite frustrating when you try to explain your thoughts to others and all the logic behind it. 

Lições (Des)Aprendidas

Sabe aquela lição?
Que a vida lhe ensinou…
Aquela que o erro foi teu.

Sabe aquela lição?
Aprendida a duras penas…
Que do baque o chão tremeu.

Sabe aquela lição?
Que de novo lhe apareceu…
Para ver se não esqueceu.

Sabe esta lição?
Que de novo lhe ocorreu…
Pois justo esta lição…
Descobriu que não aprendeu.

Momento

Dizem que descrever como você se sente faz bem… então vamos lá…

Não sei bem descrever como é isso. Essa situação. Esse sentimento. Só sei que eu deveria estar feliz. Tenho todo o necessário. Tenho pessoas que se importam comigo. Não tenho muitos problemas… Mas, não consigo me sentir feliz assim, como tudo está. Vivo alguns momentos bons que me fazem esquecer por um tempo disso que estou sentindo, mas logo esse sentimento volta.

Isso tudo mostra o quanto sou fraco, porque eu deveria saber que Deus sabe o que é melhor pra mim, e que a minha felicidade é só questão de tempo, de me manter firme… Mas (sempre o mas), não sou “firme” o bastante… sou muito inconstante, inconsistente, hesitante… dependo muito da minha motivação; e a minha motivação depende muito da minha felicidade. Um ciclo sem fim.

A forma como eu vejo a felicidade é mais ou menos assim. Ela é uma questão de ponto de vista, motivação e confiança. Três pontos, como num tripé. E é no ponto da confiança que eu peco; é nele que sou fraco. Assim, por não me sentir feliz e não conseguir confiar no futuro, me falta motivação e não consigo ajustar meu ponto de vista para encontrar a tal felicidade. Não é ridículo? Ser assim… tão patético… E o pior é que, às vezes, até fico deprimido com isso. E aí, consigo deixar tudo ainda pior.

Teorizando

Eu mais pareço uma grande e desconexa teoria, cujas hipóteses nunca foram provadas serem falsas ou verdadeiras.

Ser Vivente

Pior que sentir dor é não sentir nada. Pois se não há sentimento, há vazio e onde há vazio, não há vida de fato. Pensar só te dá consciência de sua vida. Sentir é que faz com que você viva. Verdadeiramente.